1. I am the Editor, thy employer. Thou shalt turn up to the performance/show/film/gig that thou art reviewing on time, wherein thou shalt be able to arrive calm, content and able to review the piece in question.
2. Thou shalt research the work that thou art reviewing, be it the previous work of the performers/actors/director/writer, so that thou shalt know what thou is talking about, and won’t give the impression that thou art talking out of thy ass.
3. Thou shalt act as a respectable member of thy’s publication team when reviewing. This includes not overdoing it with the free alcohol and then embarrassing oneself because of said alcohol.
4. Thou shalt file copy on time and within the word limit.
5. Thou shalt not steal work from another writer, be they living or dead and pass it off as thine own. Plagiarism will be discovered, and thou will only set thyself back by ripping off the intellectual property of others.
6. Thou shalt be respectful to venue staff, including FOH staff, PR people and press officers.
7. Thou shalt write about more than the performance; thou shalt consider the cultural, political, social and historical context of a piece. Criticism must move beyond the tired “It looked nice, it was acted well” narrative.
8. Thou shalt write with brevity and clarity; why write a 20 word filler sentence when a simple 10 words will do?
9. Thou shalt proofread thy’s own work before sending it to thou’s editor.
10. Thou shalt be prepared to listen to constructive criticism of thine work, and thou shalt take this criticism to heart.